Cheryl and I grew up together from 4th grade on. We became
best of friends and were just about inseperable. During our
8th grade year in junior high school, we got into quite a fight.
We didn't speak for nearly a year. We had dance class
together and always teamed up with each other in our Freshman year
of high school. We had so much fun and enjoyed making up
routines together. After our freshman year was over we lost contact
with each other and weren't very close any longer. Then the
summer before our senior year in high school we got to be close
again and had patched everything up between us. That
summer not only did we have summer school together but we
went on vacation and had a great time with my parents. We had
gone to a beautiful place called June Lake. We went horseback
riding, boating, walking, you name it we pretty much
did it and had a blast doing so. I will never forget
when were in June Lake and we came across a garden snake and
Cheryl just about jumped into my arms out of fright. Boy did
we laugh a long time on that one. That trip was so much fun.
Well after summer was over and we went back to school, we
started to just hang out together all the time. We would
go to lunch together just about every day, we would go work
out at the gym together on a regular basis. I have to admit
I used to get rather jealous of her as she used to
get all the guys as she was beautiful inside and out. Well,
spring break finally came and we decided to go to an
amusment park together. It was a blast. There was no one in the
park it seemed. We had met some guys and the two of us just
started flirting like there was no tomorrow. Of course, we
knew that we would never see these guys again, so that made it
all the more fun. So, we finally went home with a great day
behind us and more great days to look forward to as our
friendship became closer and closer once again. Then graduation
day finally came. Cheryl was a Gold Seal Graduate from high
school, and she really and truly earned it. She had so much
intelligence. Of course she really worked hard at school as
well so it was no wonder she graduated with such high honors.
She then started college right away. First, she started
out in a community college and then went to a 4 year
college to pursue her dream to become a school teacher
for elementary level. I had such a hard time finding a day that
I could catch her to do something as she was so busy trying
to finish school, as well as her internships. During this
time she had met the love of her life, who in years to come
became her husband. He had been gone for several months as
he was in the service. She had been staying with his
mom and then decided to move back home with her parents. I had
gotten a call one day wondering if she could possibly stay
with my family as her grandmother was staying with her and
her parents and she had no place to study quietly. I had then
asked my parents about her staying with us and they had
said no problem as they really liked Cheryl. She stayed
with us for about 3 weeks until school was finished for the
year. Finally, she had a night to do something fun for once
rather than having to study and so we had gone to a party.
That was another unforgetable night. I will always remember
her friend Paul who at the party had taken her shoe off her
foot and started licking her toes. We couldn't stop laughing
for a long time about that. Later that year, my grandmother
had gotten married and had moved out of her condo and
had offered it to me and if I wanted a roommate I could have
Cheryl live with me. Unfortunately, my grandmother had made
it very uncomfortable for me to live in that condo
as she had decided to lay a lot of rules on me so I
moved out and left Cheryl to find another roommate in which
she had. At this poing her future husband to be was home for
good from the service and frequently stayed with her
as well. Well, later on the following year, Cheryl and her
roommate had moved out of the condo and Cheryl went back home for
a short time. She and Travis, her husband to be, found an
apartment together. They had finally started to plan their
wedding. I was so excited for her. She was a beautiful bride.
I was so happy for her and her new husband. Sometime after
she had gotten married, I had my second child and had asked
her to be the godmother of my children. She almost broke down
in tears because she was so honored by my asking her.
We didn't get to see too much of each other as there were
several miles between us so it wasn't so easy to get together
and just hang out. About a year after she had gotten
married, she and her husband had bought a new home. I still
remember how excited she was about it. All the work she was
going to be able to put into it and not have to worry about
whether it was going to be acceptable or not. Although,
anytime she did anything to a home it was always so beautiful.
She used to tell me what she had planned next to do to her new
home. At this point in her life she had already secured a
teaching job for the fifth grade. I remember how excited she
was about working. She has always had such a love for
children and would tell me how much she had wanted a child of
her own but wasn't able to afford to have one as they had
just bought the house. So, instead she settled for
getting a dog first. She had so many plans for the future and
I really admired that. Then the day came where I received
a phone call from one of the girls who was in her
wedding party. The girl asked me if I was sitting down. I had
been of course as I usually am during the day because I try to
avoid doing housework as much as possible. I was then
informed that my best friend Cheryl had killed herself the previous
day. I just broke down in tears in disbelief. I kept asking
myself "Is this a dream?" "When am I going to wake up
from this nightmare?". It really didn't hit me until I had
decided to call Cheryl's parents the following day. To hear
her mother on the other end of the phone sobbing and asking
questions I had no answers for just killed me deep down inside.
I never knew that there was something bothering Cheryl so
deeply that she felt she had to end her life. I broke
down after hanging the phone up with her mom. Again, I kept
asking myself "Why did you do this?" "What was bothering
you so much you had to leave this world?" "Do you realize
how much you are hurting everyone here that you left behind?".
I was so angry at that point to where I couldn't function
very well. Well the days and nights became easier for me
to deal with after the day I had talked to her mother until
the funeral. The night before I was so nervous. I don't
know why I was nervous, but I was. I was fine the day of the
funeral until I had reached the church. I couldn't fight the
tears back any longer. It was so hard for me to deal with.
And then it hit me even harder when I saw her picture all
over the church. I just broke down in tears again and then
to see her husband and parents aching to have her back with
the faces in their hands, made it even harder for me. My
mom and grandmother met me at the church and were a great
comfort for me, as well as my friend who had drove me to the
funeral as no one felt I should be driving being so emotional
and distraught. That day at her funeral I realized how
many people truly cared for her and loved her not only
her family but people we grew up with and went to school with.
I wanted so bad to get up in front of everyone and say a few
words about her, but I was so distraught, there was no
way I was going to be able to do that. There was a guy who
attended the funeral and had known her for a few years
longer than I had, that got up and spoke of her. Then one of
her former students got up and spoke and it made it so much
harder. She had touched the lives of so many people in such
a positive way that it was so hard to believe that she was
gone. I got quite a bit of closure by going to the funeral,
the graveside, and the reception. I felt better about
everything but yet at the same time, I had been so emotional
the entire day I couldn't stay much longer and it was too
much for me. Fortunately, my father in law had my children
and decided that he would keep the kids overnight and
allowed me to get some rest before having to take care of them
on my own. I will never forget Cheryl. She was the type of
person that befriended everyone who crossed her path. She
was a great person to know. I just wish that she felt that
she had more to live for rather than take her own life so
soon. She was 24 years old. I miss her so much. Never before
have I run into a warmer person than Cheryl. She was truly
one of a kind. By Cheryl taking her own life, it made me
realize you don't truly know someone no matter how close you
are to a person. I will never know what bothered her so
much that she had to end her life so soon. She never opened up
to anyone, so no one knows what she was feeling. I am only
glad to have known her and to have her as one of my friends.
I will always cherish the memories of her as long as I live.
December 24, 1973 - August 16, 1998
